The Kiss Off Read online

  After a couple of runs through, I realised the snoring had stopped because Dad started thumping on the wall to get me to shut the hell up and go to bed Poppy, it’s two in the morning for Christ’s sake. It didn’t matter - we had what we needed. I lay on the bed, elbows propping me up, eyes half closed as I watched Vanya do a light edit, cutting together some of the better bits and upload the song to my YouTube channel, PoppyLongStocking. With any luck, Cam and Nikki wouldn’t know what hit them. If they ever saw it.

  “Right, it’s up,” Vanya said, swivelling the desk chair around to face me.

  “Good,” I said. “Do you think-”

  We both looked at our cell phones as they buzzed with new messages at exactly the same time.

  “It’s Mads.”

  “Yeah, me too,” I said.

  Vanya held up her phone, bemused. “She has something ‘f’ing exciting’ to tell us so we have to come over tomorrow?”

  I opened up a reply message and my fingers clicked over the buttons. “Screw that, tell us now,” I said aloud as I texted. Send. “Let’s check the video.” I climbed to my feet and leaned over Vanya’s shoulder as she refreshed the page.

  “Holy crap, there’s been fifty views already?” I asked. I looked at the time. “It’s been up for like a minute. And it’s two in the morning.”

  “Do you have fans in Australia or something?”

  I shrugged. “Refresh again.”

  We both raised our eyebrows and turned to each other. When she refreshed the page, there were now a hundred and twenty-three views. And a couple of comments.

  Boots said ‘…Snap.’, Jesky0519 commented ‘Angry chicks are so hot’ and Zenbo99 had written ‘Damn…would hate to piss her off’. I smiled, held up my hand, and Vanya fived it.

  My cell buzzed again and opening the text, I groaned. “She said no, she wants to tell us in person tomorrow.”

  “I can’t,” Vanya said. “I have church with Nan, and the AV club is editing a couple of stories, and then I have violin before dinner.”

  Whoa.

  “I can’t either. I have homework and it’s family day tomorrow,” I said. “I’m writing back to say just tell us already.” After a minute she replied. “Apparently we’re losers and we both suck and we better be at the bus stop on Monday and we both suck.” I looked up at Vanya. “And blah blah blah.”

  “That sounds about right,” Vanya smiled. “I better take off, I was supposed to be home ages ago.”

  We tiptoed downstairs and I gave her a hug goodbye. Once she’d left I wandered back to my room. Climbing into bed fully clothed, I moaned and put a hand to my forehead as I started to get a headache. My hangover was arriving early.

  ***

  Chapter Two

  I waited at the bus stop for Mads on Monday morning, peering up and down the road, inhaling exhaust fumes as rush hour got underway. The bus was supposed to arrive any minute, and it didn’t look like she was coming. Typical.

  But then she came skipping toward me from across the street, wearing pink and white striped pajama bottoms and a grey sweater.

  “What…”

  She had a hand clamped to her chin as she bounced toward me.

  “I’ve been dying to tell you!”

  “What are you wearing?”

  “Pajamas,” she said. I waited. “Oh, I’m not going to school. I told my mom I was sick.”

  “Why?”

  She removed her hand from her chin. There was not one but two great big giant pimples. One of them looked all pussy and the other one was inflamed and red and completely gross.

  “Ugh,” I said. She slapped her hand back over them and punched me in the arm.

  “Where’s Van?”

  “Not here yet.”

  She held up her cell phone and frowned at the clock readout. We both looked up and down the street.

  “She better hurry up, it’ll be here any-”

  Boots clopped down the sidewalk and I raised myself up on my toes to see past the group of private school boys. Vanya bolted toward the stop with the grace of an elephant, her backpack bouncing around on her shoulders making her wobble a bit and half-lose her balance, a hand trying to hold her skirt down as it started riding up with each stride. Really, that girl. She had so many talents, but running gracefully wasn’t one of them. And I loved her for it.

  “I made it,” she puffed, leaning forward to catch her breath. I smoothed down some flyaway hairs on the top of her head.

  “Yes, yes you did.” I turned my attention back to Mads. “Okay. So what’s up?”

  Mads beamed at us and jumped up and down on the spot. She looked like she was trying to hold her head on the way she had her hand clamped to her face like that.

  “Dev and I were texting each other all night until like four in the morning after the party and I asked him out!”

  “Finally,” Van said.

  I had to agree. “It’s about time.”

  Mads’ shoulders slumped. We clearly weren’t excited enough. “You guys suck.”

  “Is there something wrong with your face?” Vanya said. “And what are you wearing?”

  “You’re seriously not going to school because of a pimple?” I said.

  “Two pimples,” Mads said. “And yes, seriously. Dev can’t see me like this.”

  I understood where she was coming from. There was a time with Cam after the ‘we’ve-known-each-other-forever-and-we’re-just-friends’ period, but before the ‘I’m-never-talking-to-you-again-stop-looking-at-me’ period, that I’d have worn a paper bag over my head rather than have let him see me with a couple of planets on my face. Looking at Mads, I really felt sorry for her. No amount of concealer was going to cover that.

  “Anyway,” she said. “There’s more to the story. I asked if he wanted to go to the movies on Saturday, and he texted back asking ‘just us?’ And…” She bit her lip.

  Oh God.

  “Well I chickened out and said that it was sort of like a group thing and that you two and I were going, and he could bring some friends if he wanted.”

  Vanya groaned. I had to agree with her.

  Mads tried to defend herself. “It’s sort of a date! Like a group date, maybe?”

  “Sort of,” I said.

  “So are you free? Can you come? Please, please, you have to be free!”

  “Oh stop your begging, I can come,” I said.

  “I have hockey in the morning but I can come if it’s in the afternoon,” Vanya said.

  “Or night time.” I said. “Much more date-y.”

  “Excellent!” Mads started clapping her hands. “I’m so excited!”

  So it was on.

  The Mount Martha’s boys started hauling their huge monogrammed school bags off the ground and shuffling toward the side of the road as the bus appeared in the distance, stuck in traffic. Mr. Business Suit closed his newspaper and rolled it up, I thought he was going to whack someone with it.

  We looked up at the bus as it pulled in, it was already overflowing with boys from Mount Martha’s Prep and the odd civilian on their way to the city to work.

  “I better get back before Mom notices I’m gone,” Mads said.

  “Come on, come on, come on,” the red-faced bus driver said, glaring down at the crowd at the door. “Now or never, people.”

  Mads motioned to bus. “Good luck with that,” she said with a smile and left.

  Mr. Business Suit groaned and stepped back, he wasn’t even going to try. And I wasn’t really sure there was room for us either. But we had to or we’d be late and Mr. Murphy said I’d been warned enough about that and I’d have to do yard duty or detention (or both) the next time.

  Vanya stepped back and said “We better get the next one.”

  “To hell with that.” I grabbed her wrist with one hand, the handrail with the other, and pulled myself onto the bus, through the back door. “Can’t be late. Murphy’ll murder me.”

  “Poppy, I don’t think we’ll fit…”

&nb
sp; “Van, come on! I’m on, see?” I turned carefully, slowly around, standing on the top step. Well, my toes were sticking off the step but I was mostly on, my backpack at my feet. The doors would close with about an inch to spare.

  “Come on girls, you getting on or not?” the driver growled, glaring at us through the rear-view mirror. What a people person.

  “Van!” I said and pointed next to me. The front door closed. Van sighed and scurried onto the bus as the back door closed behind her. She squealed as she jerked backwards against it.

  She may have been inside the bus but her backpack was most definitely not. The driver pulled us away from the kerb.

  “Hey wait–” I clapped my hand over her mouth, we were squished near nose to nose. My shoulders shuddered and I bit my lip, trying really hard not to laugh as the bus pulled away from the curb into rush hour traffic. I drew Vanya toward me by the collar of her jacket to keep her from losing balance and falling back onto the stairwell, where she’d dangle from her backpack straps like a bag of M&Ms in a vending machine. A couple of the Mount Martha’s boys sniggered and nudged each other, looking our way.

  “Poppy…”

  “Just go with it,” I said. I started to giggle, then coughed, trying to stop, to control myself. But I couldn’t help it. I was laughing so hard. Vanya’s cheeks reddened and she looked around at the boys watching her and then we locked eyes and she started laughing too. I took a few deep giggle-filled breaths and roamed my gaze around us at all of the bodies packed in together, limbs outstretched to any stable surface to keep from toppling into each other. The air was filled with musky boy smell which was mostly hidden by the overpowering stench of someone’s cologne bath this morning. Phew.

  “I checked the video before leaving and it’s had twenty-thousand views, I kid you not,” I said, trying to distract Vanya from the self-conscious blush that was spreading across her face as she dangled in the doorway.

  “Get out,” she said.

  “Yeah, it’s mental. None of my other videos have been this popular - not this quickly, anyway.”

  “That’s insane,” Vanya said.

  “No kidding,” I said “So uh, who do you think Dev’ll bring to the movie?”

  Van frowned, thinking. “I don’t know. Maybe Ravi?”

  “That’d be good,” I said.

  “Yeah.” Van smiled. “I’m so excited for her. They’ll be so good together. I can just tell.”

  I had to agree, I mean, we didn’t know Dev that well. He’d only been at school for a couple of weeks, he’s still finding his footing, finding his friends. But he smiles at Mads a lot. And she giggled and sort of played with her hair.

  “It’s all too adorable,” I said.

  “What’s adorable?”

  I turned my head around and scanned the faces near me and flinched.

  “God!” I said, my whole body tensed for a second and I could feel my heart thumping against my ribcage from the shock. “Where’d you come from?”

  Cam gave me this stupid smile. “Well I was at my house this morning, and then the bus came and-”

  “Yeah alright,” I said and looked at Vanya, whose forehead was furrowed with worry. She looked from me to Cam and back again. I wasn’t looking at Cam again, though. No siree. This was what the silent treatment looked like.

  “How’s it hanging, Vanya?” he said. I could hear him smiling, and Vanya started smiling too. She let out a little laugh at the ridiculousness of her situation, me holding her up by the collar as her tippy toes in her sensible school shoes attempted to grip the top step. My arms were getting sore and if I’d wanted to I could have dropped her at any second. I gave her a warning stare and she looked away from both of us.

  But he wouldn’t let it be, would he? He kept talking.

  “So what’s so adorable? Or who? Is it a who? What were you ladies talking about anyway?”

  “Leave. Us. Alone. Cameron,” I said quietly and glared past Vanya out the window as buildings whizzed by. Couldn’t we go any faster? I heard him sigh and he was silent for a moment.

  “Poppy, come on,” he said, right in my ear. I felt his warm, minty breath tickle my cheek. Suddenly the bus lurched forward as it braked. There were shouts and I fell sideways into Cam. Someone’s arm was around me, steadying me and I grabbed at the nearest pole and my hand landed on someone else’s. It was Cam’s. I was all Cam, his arm steadying me, my hand on top of his, his eyes looking at me. I looked back for a split second, but that was it. I let go of his hand and shuffled away from him.

  He didn’t say anything. Vanya’s arms scrabbled for me and I grabbed her as the doors opened and she was released from their grip. She slid her school bag off her back and put it at her feet. We pressed ourselves against the wall as hoards of Mount Martha’s Preparatory College boys jumped off the bus, emptying it out. We had room to move, air to breathe. A handful of people climbed on. My stomach clenched as I noticed one person in particular.

  By the look on her face she’d already seen we were there. Nikki stepped up onto the bus at the middle door and over to Cam. She gave him a brief, awkward hug, well aware of my gaze on them. She was just so… I grit my teeth and gave her a fake smile. What was she even doing there? She totally had a car. I knew this because she had driven me and Cam around all summer. She had even started picking me up before work at Myron’s House of Steak when we worked the same shift. But here she was on our bus that was headed to our school. Not hers. What a stalker.

  “Hi Poppy, how are you?” she said.

  Bitch.

  Vanya looked from me to Cam and the skank and back again.

  Cam cleared his throat. “So this adorable person, who-”

  “A guy,” I said. “We were talking about an adorable guy.” Vanya frowned, but was smart enough to stay silent. Cam blinked a couple of times. Good. If he was going to keep pushing the matter he was welcome to think whatever he wanted.

  “So you’re into someone?”

  As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t pull the trigger. “It’s none of your business, Cam!”

  “Well I think that’s good,” Nikki said. “I’m happy for you. I hope it works out.”

  “What’s it to you, anyway? To either of you?” I practically spat at them, putting a hand firmly on my hip.

  Cam raised his hands in the air in defeat. “Okay, forget it.”

  Without even thinking, I scooped up my backpack and jumped down off the bus.

  “Poppy!” Vanya called. After a second she hurried after me.

  “What are you doing?” Cam yelled at us as the driver closed the doors.

  Vanya fell into step beside me. School was only a couple of stops away, anyway.

  “I think I feel like walking,” I said. So as the bus pulled away, I linked arms with Vanya, stuck my nose in the air and strode away.

  ***

  Chapter Three

  After a glance at Van’s watch and a little power walking, we made it through the school gate as the homeroom bell rang. Though I was only really in my homeroom for a minute, standing at the front with Mr. Murphy as he sighed and shook his head, grumbling about needing to find the white-out so that he could change my ‘absent’ to a ‘present’ and wanting an excuse for my tardiness (I so wasn’t telling him that I could have made it on time but I got off the bus a couple of stops early because I couldn’t deal with my ex and his new she-devil girlfriend being all up in my face and him trying to be friendly and her trying to poison me with her existence, so I just sort of mumbled something about an alarm clock not going off and he accepted it because he didn’t really care anyway).

  I scowled at my desk, lost in thought for most of the day. I pretended that Cam was invisible and even when he answered questions in Biology and solved that hideous equation in Trigonometry, I was determined not to learn a thing from it.

  It wasn’t fair that he kept trying to talk to me, trying to be my friend. He wasn’t playing by the break-up rules. Of lying cheating scumbag break-ups. What made him
honestly think I would want to talk to him? At least Nikki knew enough to stay away from me. She hadn’t called me once since I caught them. I would have liked to smack her again sometime though.

  When I got home after school I went straight to the kitchen to steal a glass of chocolate milk from Dad’s secret stash. I never had any witnesses because I almost always made it home first.

  But today as I headed for the doorway I spat my mouthful of milk out in a projectile spray as Mom walked into the kitchen, putting her jacket on. She froze, her mouth open, looking down at her clothes for any sign of chocolate milk. Luckily, there was none.

  “Mom!” I said. “You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing home?”

  “Hello to you too, I worked from home this afternoon.” She motioned to the walls and kitchen counter, covered in milk. “You’re cleaning that up, aren’t you?” It wasn’t actually a question.

  I grimaced at the chocolate milk running down the cupboard doors, dribbling onto the floor, and stomped to the sink for a cloth and started cleaning.

  Mom opened the fridge. “So how was your day?”

  “Fine, it was…you know. Whatever. What are you doing?” I watched her stand in front of the fridge and survey the contents. She opened the freezer.

  “Making dinner.”

  “But Dad makes dinner.”

  “I am capable of making dinner, Poppy.”

  She might be capable of it but I couldn’t remember ever seeing her do it before. And I said so.

  My mom has this face she makes, where she sort of bites both her lips and sucks in her cheeks a little and she looks like she’s counting to ten. That’s her ‘you’re annoying me’ face. I knew this, because I had seen it pretty often. And she had it on right then.