The Kiss Off Read online

  Mom tapped me on the forehead, looking amused. I swatted her away.

  “It’s in my closet,” she said. “So should I get the tracking device out now, or…?”

  “I’m going over to Ty’s place,” I said.

  Mom watched me. “This Ty boy, he’s a good friend of yours now, isn’t he.”

  “Sort of, yeah,” I said.

  “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing? Why do you need a cocktail dress to go and visit him?”

  “Did you hear me screaming and singing just now?”

  “Singing?” Mom said. “Is that what that was?”

  “Ty’s band’s song was on the radio. I kind of wrote that song. They’re predicting it’s going to be a hit, we have to celebrate!”

  “A song you wrote was on the radio?”

  “Yeah – they recorded it, so can I borrow the dress?”

  “That’s amazing, honey, congratulations!” she leaned over and gave me a hug that made Poo Bum yelp and jump off the bed as he was caught in the middle of it. This was all very nice but didn’t get me any closer to the dress.

  “Can we hear it sometime?”

  “Uh, yeah, sure. Of course,” I said, trying not to cringe. I was proud of the song, don’t get me wrong. And I thought Academy of Lies had done a kick ass job with it, but I wasn’t sure I needed my parents hearing how Cam and Nikki had broken my heart and I planned to get revenge. At least, I had back then.

  “So can I wear the dress?”

  “I guess you can borrow it if you like,” she said. “As long as you promise not to spill anything on it.”

  “I promise,” I said, climbing over Bex and off the bed and to her closet. Seriously, it’s so stupid when people make you promise things like that. When you spill things on yourself you don’t exactly do it on purpose. There might be the odd occasion when you do, but mostly never.

  I could feel my mom watching me as I sifted through her closet, the hangers making a metallic scrape as I pushed each one aside.

  “So are you going out to celebrate?”

  “Um, maybe,” I said. “I don’t know.” I hadn’t considered it, all I knew was that I had to go and see him. And that I had to look hot. And that Cam was buying condoms.

  “Well what do you think you’ll be doing?”

  “I don’t know, Mom!” I said as I found the dress and pulled it from her closet. “Just…celebrating!”

  “And how do you plan on celebrating?”

  “I. Don’t. Know.”

  “Do we have to have the talk?” Mom said. “About being responsible?”

  “No we don’t need to have the talk,” I mumbled, flitting my eyes to Bex. She was patting the dog, pat-pat-pat on the top of his head, oblivious to our conversation.

  “I’m assuming Ty’s your boyfriend, right? Not just your friend?”

  “Mom.”

  “Why can’t we talk about this?”

  “Yes. I mean, we haven’t exactly said it, but yes, he’s my boyfriend.”

  “And he’s in a popular rock band?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry honey, but I don’t like it.”

  “What, just because he’s in a band? Because he likes music, like I do?”

  “Boys in bands, they’re different to other boys, Poppy. I mean, they have all this fame and…you know what groupies are, right? What they do?”

  I covered my ears, I couldn’t listen to my mother talk about groupies.

  “Oh my God, you have to stop talking,” I said. “He’s not some big player rock star who…” I looked at Bex. She was watching me, now interested in the grown up conversation. “He doesn’t ‘play’ with groupies. He doesn’t have groupies, they’re not even that famous yet. And besides, you don’t even know him,” I said. “Ty’s completely different, he’s not even remotely like that.”

  “As long as you’re sure, honey,” Mom said.

  “I’m sure.”

  “Okay,” she said.

  “Okay,” I said back. “So can I borrow the car tonight?”

  Mom let out an ‘I don’t like it’ sigh, which usually meant she didn’t like it but was going to go along with it. “To get there and back but not to drive people around and definitely not to let other people drive it around, you got it?”

  “Got it.” I nodded and hunted in Mom’s handbag on the dresser for her keys.

  That was the point when Bex decided to join the conversation. “Can I have a groupie?”

  ***

  Chapter Twelve

  I didn’t drive often, I mean, I had gotten my permit like six months ago, but the dream I had once held of driving everywhere, driving my friends everywhere and having this insane amount of freedom were marred by the fact that I had neglected to take into account how often the car was in use. If my mom wasn’t using it, my dad was. And we were a one car family. So I was saving for a car, but that wasn’t coming along that well since Summer ended awhile back and I was back to being unemployed. And I tended to eat into my car fund by buying stuff. Like clothes and an IPod, and a new amp because I busted my old one when I accidently kicking it against the wall getting out of bed that time.

  And I was about to eat into it a little more. Not that what I was intending to buy would cost too much (at least I didn’t think it would), but still. I pulled into the lot at Walgreens and sat in the car for a minute, just staring in. It was perfectly natural, I told myself. And it was responsible for me to go in and buy them. To buy condoms. Be prepared. I didn’t know for sure it was going to happen tonight, I mean I was probably going to take him by surprise, but he was a guy - an eighteen-year-old guy - and I harbored some serious doubts that he’d say no if I brought it up. Cam could buy condoms and sleep with Nikki so I could buy condoms and sleep with Ty.

  It was that simple.

  I got out of the car and strode toward the store, beeping the doors locked as I walked. I lifted my chin an inch higher than usual and walked in, looking for the condom aisle. Well, the condom section, they probably didn’t have a whole aisle for them. I was an adult, I knew what I was doing…I knew what I was doing.

  I rose my eyebrows when I found it, and was accosted with variety. A lot of variety. I knew there were lots of different types, but I hadn’t expected there to be so many different types. Did I want glow in the dark, flavoured (though strawberry could be good, but that meant I’d be having a different kind of sex) studded, pleasure shaped (whatever that meant), warming…were there no normal ones like the ones we played with in Sex Ed?

  A hulk of a man in a food-stained flannel shirt covering his beer gut walked past, looked at the condoms I was lingering in front of and then looked at me with a smile as he passed. Me in my mom’s little black dress and my painful but oh-so-sexy long black boots. It was time to make a decision and get out. I grabbed a box, any box, and lined up at the register. My head was still held high. I was a mature adult doing the responsible thing…but I couldn’t bring my eyes to meet anyone else’s. I paid for my goods and hurried back out to the car.

  I sat with my hands on the steering wheel for a minute, taking deep breaths. Deep breaths of shame. What’s your deal, Poppy? I berated myself. You’re a sixteen-year-old woman. People have sex. What are you freaking yourself out about?

  I put the key back in the ignition, and drove to the apartment in the city. Wishing I hadn’t left my iPod charging in my room, it didn’t take me long to get sick of the Wuzzy Wombles CD that Mom and Bex sang along to every time they were in the car, so I hunted through the glove compartment for something else and happened upon Dad’s Debutante Dolls CD. To his friends he was strictly a Bruce Springsteen, pub rock kind of man, but his family knew his love of girl bands. I wasn’t opposed to them myself, but I wasn’t opposed to any music.

  As Ty buzzed me up, Archie waved down at me from his bedroom balcony. I could hear loud rock music playing and Archie was drinking a beer. I guess their own celebrations were underway.

  My heels click-clacked on the ceme
nt steps up to their apartment, and when I reached their doorway, I found Ty leaning against the doorframe. He was wearing a pair of faded ratty jeans with scuffs and holes in the knee, and a plain white V-neck tee. His hair was scruffy and he was a couple of hours past a five o’clock shadow and I tingled all over at the sight of him.

  “I didn’t know you were coming over,” he said as I reached him. He wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug and kissed the top of my head. “I’m glad you’re here though. Come in.” He took my hand and entwined my fingers with his as he led me into the house. My muscles tensed as I found the apartment was packed. There were people everywhere, trendy people, hipster types. Wearing fedoras and suits with tee shirts and skinny ties and sneakers, and girls in sequined dresses. The types that wear sunglasses indoors. And mixed in with them were a bunch of emo and punk kids, and the hip-hop crowd in designer sweats and bling. God, so many people, would they be able to tell that I came over to have sex?

  “You’re having a party?” I asked, doing an amazing impersonation of Captain Obvious.

  “Yeah, the label invited some people over to celebrate,” he said, not seeming too pleased about it. “Can you believe I have Johnny Johns at my place?”

  “Johnny Johns?” I asked. “Johnny Johns of like, “White Boy Say What”, that song?”

  “Yeah, and see that Barbie doll over in the corner?”

  “Yeah, who’s…” I squinted over to the couch in the living room. There was an unlawfully tan blond girl in a white dress sitting amongst half a dozen guys. “That’s Roxy Washington, isn’t it?” I said, covering my mouth. “Holy crap. What was that movie she was in…?”

  “Party Shenanigans, yeah,” Ty said. “And Party Shenanigans 2. Not that I saw them.”

  I gave the complete liar a shove.

  “She won that teen choice award for best kiss last year,” I said.

  “Oh yeah?” he asked, draping his arm around my shoulders.

  “Yeah. Not that I know anything about that.”

  “Of course not.”

  “What is she doing here?”

  “Didn’t I tell you? She lives in the building too,” he said.

  “Uh, no. No you didn’t tell me.” I scrutinized her from across the room. She looked like a fairly normal size on TV, I mean sure, on the thin side of normal, but in person she was really skinny. Painfully skinny. She laughed about something and her collarbone jutted sharply out, I was surprised it didn’t puncture right through her skin. I put a hand on my stomach, where I had a layer of flesh under my mom’s dress.

  “Yeah, she’s signed with Faux Hawk as well. Recording her first album in Studio B,” Ty said.

  I nodded. “Makes sense, isn’t that always the next step for these Hollywood It Girls?”

  “Do you want to meet her? Want to meet anyone? How about Johnny Johns?”

  I leaned my chin against his bicep and wrapped my arm around his. “Not really. I just came to see you.”

  He smiled down at me in this way, like I had said the exact perfect thing and I was the most perfect person in the world. He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Come on. Let’s go to my room.” My stomach fluttered like a thousand moths were trapped in the dark, desperate to get out to the light.

  “Yeah, sure.” We walked through the party and my cheeks grew hotter and hotter as people watched us, hand in hand as Ty led me to his bedroom. It felt like everyone was looking. Like everyone knew what I was there for, what we were going to do. This wasn’t right.

  Ty looked at me funny. “You okay?”

  “Fine,” I said. “I just, celebrities. You know?” I waved and hugged hello to the band and Lana and Jeri as we passed them and followed Ty to his bedroom. He closed the door and the noise of the music was muted nicely.

  I watched from the doorway as he flopped onto the bed, lying with his head propped up on his arms. His tee shirt rose up revealing a smattering of fair, downy hair around his belly button. He let out a weary sigh, rubbing his eyes, before turning his gaze to me. He looked me up and down, appraising my appearance. My boots, the dress, my wild curls I had pinned away from my face with a dragonfly hairpin.

  “You look really pretty tonight.”

  “Thanks,” I said quietly. This was it, this was the night. This was the night I lost the big V with Roxy Washington, Johnny Johns and their whole entourages outside the door. This was crazy.

  “What are you doing standing over there?” he said, patting the bed. “Get over here.”

  I walked toward him, placing my bag on the floor and sat down, swinging my legs up and around, very lady-like. He scooched over and wrapped his arms around me.

  “I’m a wreck,” he said, burying his face in my hair. His stubble felt funny, prickling the back of my neck. “We just finished the video, it’s going to be great but I swear, I got like five hours sleep in the last three days.”

  “Man, you must be tired.”

  “Understatement,” he said, his voice sleepy, his breath tickling the back of my ear as his breathing slowed.

  “It was a nice surprise, you appearing at my door. Did you just come to hang out?”

  “No, I came to celebrate, actually.”

  “Celebrate?”

  “Yeah, The Kiss Off is all over the radio, they’re saying it’s going to be a hit.”

  “Oh yeah – we heard it today at In’n’Out Burger,” he said with a yawn. “Seb was practically screaming and Tommy and Lana started dancing on the tables. The sixty-year-old couple in the booth didn’t seem to appreciate it but I think everyone else found it funny.”

  “All I got to do was dance in my room and sing really loudly. I wasn’t in a public place. You’re famous, Ty.”

  “It’s wild, hey,” he said, his voice drifting off, I could feel him falling asleep.

  “Is that why the label organized a party?”

  “Hmm?” he said. “Oh, no. The single’s in stores tomorrow, people are already buying it on iTunes,” he mumbled softly, in that trying-to-stay-awake-but-can’t-stay-awake slow voice.

  “That’s amazing,” I said, trying to keep my voice low and steady, not too excited as he drifted off behind me. This could have been the moment, it would have been perfect, I had a great reason for wanting to do this, have sex, people get carried away when they’re celebrating. If only he wasn’t nearly asleep, snuggled up behind me like I was his teddy bear. I was disappointed, but surprisingly, at the same time I felt, what was it, what was that feeling? I was disappointed and not disappointed. I was relieved, even. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this, after all.

  “And,” he said quietly, on the verge of dreams. “we’re going on tour.” That was it. It must have been one or two seconds after that last comment that he fell asleep, snoring softly, tickling the back of my neck with his deep breaths. He must have been exhausted. The moment (not that there really had been one to begin with), was well and truly gone. After a couple of minutes I carefully disentangled myself from him and climbed out of the bed. I wrapped his arm around a pillow in place of me, and left the apartment. I could have stayed and hung out with the It Crowd, but honestly, I didn’t feel like celebrating anymore. They were going on tour. I should have guessed it, of course they were. I didn’t know how long before they left or how long the tour would be, all I did know, was that sometime very soon, Ty would be gone, and we would be over.

  ***

  Chapter Thirteen

  They left four days later, and the apartment was taken over by the next up-and-coming music sensation that were about to record their very own album.

  Surprisingly - shockingly, really - Ty and me were definitely not over. He didn’t even seem to consider it. He told me he’d call me all the time and fly back to see me when he could. He didn’t know how long they were going to be gone for. Depended on how well the country received them.

  Three weeks later, the band was performing in clubs and medium-sized theatres, doing radio and TV spots on live shows and The Kiss Off was fourth o
n the charts and climbing, the second most requested video and the number one most requested song on the radio. People used it as their cell phone ring tones and girls at school had plastered their lockers with posters of Academy of Lies, specifically their handsome, charismatic lead singer, Ty. I gotta say, girls I knew so blatantly crushing on my boyfriend? It weirded me out. In the meantime, Dev and Mads had broken up and gotten back together, Nikki and Cam seemed to be bickering about something, and she stopped picking him up from school at all, I hid the C- I got on my Pride and Prejudice paper from my parents and Poo Bum was sporting a fancy new collar.

  As I closed the door and dumped my backpack in the corner, Poo Bum had trotted to me and shoved his head in my hands. The collar stood out like neon against his tan fur. It was aqua with little silver bone shaped studs all around it.

  “What’s this all about, hmm?” I asked as I scratched him under his chin. He didn’t answer (not that I expected him to), instead his tail wagged and eyes slowly closed as I scratched.

  “Mo-om!” I called out. The car was in the driveway, so she had to be home. I wandered through the house to her office. There was a whirring noise and I pushed open the door to find Mom peddling leisurely on her exercise bike, reading a magazine. Not exactly working up a sweat. “The dog’s sporting some bling all of a sudden,” I said as he followed me into the office, sat on his tail and watched the wheels go round. “Do you think he robbed someone?”

  “He needs a collar if we’re ever going to take him with us places,” Mom said.

  “And is that something we’re going to do?”

  “Well, yes. He needs a collar if we’re going to take him to the park, and I thought it might be nice to have a family picnic sometime soon and he’s part of the family, so…”

  “Part of the family, is he?” I said with a smile.

  “I’m not taking him to that pound,” Mom said. “He wouldn’t exactly have much of a shelf-life there, and no one’s coming forward saying they’ve lost him.”